Warrior Wisdom: Preparing for Back to School
By Whitney Cherner, LCSW
I like the concept of “back to school.” I really do. It’s probably because I am a big fan of new beginnings and all that it entails, like new schedules, new friends, and new opportunities. To me, the fact that kids get to do this every year while in school is one of the great gifts of well, just being a kid. As parents, we often put time and effort into prepping our kids for “back to school.” We order uniforms, pick out just the right backpack, and visit the dreaded school supply shopping section at our Target. This a yearly ritual…except last year when the pandemic changed all of that.
So, for parents and students alike, back-to-school prep is looking a little different. I woke up at 3 am the other morning in a panic that I had not yet ordered my son (who shot up 5 inches over the summer) new uniforms. I am happy to self-disclose that I am out of practice and not quite on it. I feel as if I am walking out of a dark movie theater into the brightly lit lobby, blinking furiously as I try to get my bearings. So, if I am the adult in the room and I am feeling this way, how are our kids feeling?
Chances are they are facing a wide range of emotions. From being out of practice with in-person social interactions to being required to physically attend school to those in high school having to get up earlier, kids are grappling with new stresses that pre-pandemic weren’t associated with back to school. So, how can we all prepare for the best school year ever?
- Talk about it. Develop a “let’s be real” zone where kids and parents alike can share how they are feeling. The point of this zone is not to problem solve, but rather to share and validate feelings. This is a good opportunity to just listen and allow everyone to own their feelings.
- Normalize it. There is a lot of comfort in knowing that we are not the only ones who feel this way. Letting our kids and ourselves know that we are not alone in our feelings is powerful stuff. I love running into other mothers who are overwhelmed and doing the best that they can because I can relate. Chances are that your sixth grader will find it comforting to be assured that most of the other sixth graders are also worried about getting lost on their first day of school.
- Focus on strengths. Remind your child (and yourself) that they have gotten through hard, scary things before. Past behavior predicts future behavior, so if we have been successful at something in the past chances are we can do that again. Use this knowledge to propel you and your child forward.
- If possible, develop a loose plan. I say loose because life happens and part of our job as parents is growing people who can pivot and be resourceful when plans fall apart. So, your child can plan to meet their best friend in the cafeteria once they get off the bus. But if their bus is late, they are going to have to go with Plan B.
So, with that, cue Jack Johnson’s song We’re Going to be Friends, post your First Day of School Facebook pics, and remember we’re all doing the best that we can (you and your kid(s) included).
Whitney Cherner, LCSW is a therapist, single mom of four, marathon runner, and dog mama of two rescues. She offers coaching and counseling on various life issues including, addiction, codependency, coping skills, core beliefs, divorce, life coaching, relationship issues, self-worth, and vulnerability. Her mantra is, “I believe you should do something that makes you uncomfortable on the daily”.
With her business partner and “soul sister” Sara Walsh, LCSW, they are Warrior Within Counseling
& Coaching. Warrior Within provides Licensed Professional Counselors who specialize in helping individuals identify their mental blocks and take action. Learn more at warriorwithinservices.com.
If you need some Warrior Wisdom yourself you can submit a question anonymously via the PB Parenting website at www.pbparenting.com/warrior-wisdom/ to be published in our monthly section.